Saturday, April 5, 2008

Amazing.

Two things about today were truly amazing.

First, the temperature not only reached but actually exceeded 60 degrees Farenheit. Based on our unbelievably, insanely long winter, which resulted in well over a foot of snow just two weeks ago, this is nothing short of a miracle. Needless to say, I was ecstatic. Elated. Thrilled out of my boots!

Second, and this is the doozy, I had an amazingly powerful vision of myself with my daughter. Who isn't born yet. Who isn't even conceived yet.

Yeah, I know that sounds crazy; it seemed crazy to me as I was experiencing it. But I felt with absolute certainty that I was holding the hand of my daughter-to-be.

I was having my very first Reiki session today from one of my best childhood girlfriends, who is a Master Reiki teacher and practitioner, specifically because I've been having trouble conceiving a second child and she thought this might help. When she placed her hands over my lower abdomen, I started full-on sobbing, out of nowhere, in just an explosion of emotion. The amount of energy that I felt my body releasing in that moment probably could've powered the lower half of our state for a solid day. And then suddenly I had this crystal clear image of me walking on a beautiful sunny day and holding the hand of my little girl, who was probably about three years old. She had long, dark, curly hair and a face much like my gorgeous Super Boy, only more feminine and delicate. She was beautiful. Absolutely breath-taking.

My heart ached as I lay there on the treatment table bawling like a baby for at least 15 minutes. God bless my girlfriend, she kept one hand on my abdomen and held my hand with the other while I sobbed away. The whole while I was seeing this image, I kept thinking, "Come to me. I'm ready for you."

When the session was over, I asked my friend what she felt while she was treating me. She said she sensed just a ton of very positive energy in my body. When she was working on my head and neck, there were very strong circular vibrations of energy, and then she sensed almost spinning energy as she moved further down. When she had her hands over my heart and my lower abdomen, she was asking the Universe in her mind whether I would have another baby and she kept sensing that I would be pregnant again, fairly soon, and that it would be a girl. I think my jaw may have hit the floor. I started sobbing again and told her about the vision that came into my head during the treatment. She didn't seem at all surprised.

Incidentally, she also sensed that my reproductive system is still healing, probably from the traumatic labor and delivery I had with Super Boy nearly five years ago. I was in labor for over 30 hours with him, pushed for 90 minutes and then ultimately had to have a C-section because Super Boy was sunny side up and his chin was stuck on my pelvis. During my labor, his heart rate started dropping after my contractions, to the point where I had to be on oxygen, and my epidural kept having problems in that a tube came undone once, leaving me in awful pain within 10 minutes, and then it ran dry just as Super Boy's head was engaged in my pelvis while I was pushing, which was absolutely unbearable, like hitting a brick wall. By the time we went into surgery, I was so exhausted, hungry and completely emotionally spent that I just wanted to have it all done with. Thankfully the baby was fine and I was, too, but it was obviously not what I had expected my labor and delivery to be like, nor what I would've wanted for either one of us. So, my friend thinks my body is still in a healing process before allowing another baby to call my body home for nine months, although she senses that it is nearly ready.

I know there will be skeptics who will dismiss all of this as a bunch of voodoo-hoodoo, but I know how I felt going through this, how real and vivid the image was of me and my daughter in my mind, and how intense the whole experience was. I also know that if there was ever anyone who could be such a strong channel for energy, intuition and healing power, it's this girlfriend of mine: she is one of the most gentle, peaceful, calm, sensitive, and intuitive people I've ever met. I trust her, and I know she wouldn't tell me what she did if she hadn't truly believed it.

So for tonight, and for each night until I hold this child in my arms, I will wrap my heart around that image and tuck it deep in my soul, letting her know that I'm ready for her, simply awaiting her arrival.

It was such a surreal experience, and one I would never have believed if I hadn't lived it firsthand.

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