You will not believe what I did today. It's only, what - the second day of school? - and already I've proven myself to Super Boy, his teacher - and his principal - to be the world's worst mother.
Today is Wednesday. And Wednesday is now "early release day" in our school district, for the first time ever.
And guess who forgot that it was early release day?
Yep. You got it.
I have no idea what I was thinking. I wrote that this was an early release day on not one but TWO calendars. I reminded Super Boy at drop-off this morning that today was an early day, so I'd see him shortly after 2pm. I kept looking at the clock all morning, fully recalling that I had to pick him up at 2:20 today.
I spent my day diligently working up in the back bedroom, purging all sorts of unnecessary and useless crap from the guest room/play room, checking email to see when my former employer would be executing my stock repurchase, emailing back and forth with my professional mentor to set up a time for us to have coffee next week. I ate lunch. I chatted with Super Man about his still-sizzling job search and the offer he's in the process of negotiating with one of the companies.
And then there I was, sitting at my computer typing an email to a former colleague, when all of a sudden I heard voices outside.
And it occurred to me that it was students from the middle school across the street walking past our house... on their way home.
A wave of panic gripped my guts as my eyes flicked up to the time at the top of my computer screen in horror.
Oh. My. God.
I flew out of my chair so fast I accidentally stepped on - and then tripped over - Super Dog. I screamed to Super Man, "OH MY GOD - WE HAVE TO GO! RIGHT NOW! IT WAS EARLY RELEASE TODAY! WE'RE LATE!!!" I grabbed Super Man's keys, threw on my Crocs and raced out the door to his car.
We sped down the street to Super Boy's school, me hyperventilating and near tears over forgetting my child at school.
For twenty-five... whole... minutes.
Super Man dropped me off as soon as I was in the vicinity of the school, and I raced across the playground faster than I've ever run in my life. One of my friends - whose son was in Super Boy's JK class last year - said, "Where are YOU going so fast?" and I rudely yelled over my shoulder that I had FORGOTTEN MY SON. She yelled back that I wasn't the only one (amen).
I flew into the school and up the stairs to the principal's office. Frantically looking around, I finally spotted Super Boy, sitting and chatting with the other kids whose parents had forgotten that today was freakin' early release day.
I grabbed my child and hugged him to my chest, stumbling over my profuse apologies for forgetting to come get him on time. He pulled back and said, "Mom. You were supposed to pick me up early today, remember?"
I looked at him with a pleading expression and said, "If I'd remembered, I'd have been here on time! I forgot - I'm so sorry - I forgot!"
All of this happened under the gaze of the principal. When I realized he was standing there, I turned to him and said, "I am sooooooooooo sorry about this: I completely blanked on today being Wednesday and early release day, and - I'm not kidding - I raced here the second I remembered! Oh - and by the way - I'm Super Boy's mom. His very, very bad mom." I could feel my face blazing.
He laughed and said, "Ah, don't worry about it - obviously you weren't the ONLY parent who forgot! We figured there would be a few, since this is new to everyone. It's fine."
I gathered Super Boy into my arms and carried him down the corridor and out to the playground, still apologizing. Amazingly, he was totally unfazed by the whole thing. I asked him if he was mad at me for not being there on time, or if he had been scared. His answer? "Nope - I was fine, Mom."
To make up for being the world's worst mom, I let my child play on the playground for a full 20 minutes before walking back home with him (Super Man had had to leave to take a phone call from a recruiter). And, not only did I walk home with Super Boy, but I carried him half the way home.
All 45 pounds of him. For nearly six blocks. As my punishment to myself.
Bad, bad mommy....