Thursday, May 28, 2009

Can you hear my huge sigh of relief?

I know you all check my blog anxiously and breathlessly awaiting updates on my latest gynecologic adventures (...or not), and you know I aim to please!

Soooooo, without further ado, I'm going to share the latest info with you. But don't worry - this update is not graphic and it's some GOOD news, for a change!

I went in for yet another repeat Pap a few weeks ago, and I just found out that it came back NORMAL!

Yes, I had my second normal Pap in a row. Which means that I am now back on an annual schedule again. :)

[Note: I just read through that link above and realized that I never posted a follow-up to it saying that the Pap came back normal, but it did. In case you didn't get that already. Okay. I'll shut up now.]

Say it with me: WOOHOOO!!!

I cannot tell you how much the past two years of abnormal Paps have bothered me. The simple fact that they were abnormal was troubling enough, particularly since the cervical and endometrial biopsies were all coming back normal and my doctor couldn't explain why the Paps were still abnormal. But coupled with the fact that we've been trying to conceive another baby throughout all of that (and longer), and other strange things were going on in my body, too, just added to my worry and anxiety over the whole thing. I mean, it just seemed like the oddities had to be connected somehow, and even though the biopsies were coming back okay I felt like I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I know how bad that sounds - really, I do. I know it's NOT healthy to worry that much or to have that much anxiety over things you can't control, especially when all that worry and anxiety can have their own adverse effects on health. But if you've learned ANYTHING about me in the year and a half that I've been writing this blog, it's that I'm a born-and-bred, top-notch, Grade A worrier. I have a PhD in worrying.

I think it's genetic.

To know that I can finally remove this one heavy mantle of worry is a huge relief to me. That said, I am trying to worry less about the things I can't control. I've kind of realized that all I can do is pursue answers, because simply KNOWING what's going on is sometimes all I need to quiet my mind and move forward. That's true with the health scares, the fertility issues, and other matters. I just want answers so I can deal with the issues and keep moving forward.

Toward that end, I need to make a phone call to reschedule the HSG test that I had to cancel when I fell and hurt my foot a few months ago. The test won't interfere with my ongoing heart monitoring and now that I know that my Pap situation is resolved, I feel better about moving forward with the fertility testing. Who knows? Maybe I'll have more good news - and yet another mantle of worry to shed - by the end of the summer!

To all of you who read my blog and have said prayers or sent good thoughts my way, I can't thank you enough. I truly believe that there's a lot of power in prayer and well wishes, and I'm always grateful for them. We may not know each other "in real life", but we can still support one another. Thank you again. :)

Peace & love,
SW

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