Wednesday, March 17, 2010

stuck on repeat

Every winter, I promise myself that I'm NOT going to let Super Dog's pony-sized piles of poop linger in the yard all winter long, in the hopes of saving myself from hours of poop-scooping after the snow (finally) melts.

EVERY YEAR I SAY THAT.

But guess what?

Yeah. You got it.

But... it's so COLD and SNOWY in the winter! Can you blame me for just leaving it to "deal with later?"

Ha. Yeah. I think not.

Yesterday I spent approximately two hours outside scooping up dog poop. I filled two 30-gallon garbage bags with dog poop.

And then I had to spend another hour in the yard this afternoon scooping up the rest. In another 30-gallon garbage bag.

I'm finally done. (I think.)

From now on, I'm going to revisit this post I wrote back in Spring of 2008 about this super-fun experience to remind myself not to let the biting cold and thigh-deep snow of November, December, January and February keep me from staying caught up on picking up the poop.

I swear, one of these years, I WILL get this right.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

attempting haiku

I have a friend who is a brilliant but as yet largely undiscovered writer who has this blog, done all in haiku form. I've always enjoyed the haiku style, but I have to admit that I haven't written a haiku myself since a high school writing class.

That said, I so enjoy reading my friend's blog that I've decided to attempt writing some myself. So.... here goes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Disappointment reigns
Expect diff'rent behavior
Some things never change


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How will she make it
When no one is there to push?
Bad habits are learned


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No one is perfect
Sometimes we do stupid things
Thank God for mercy


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So sweet is my boy
Precious face, heart, innocence
Bittersweet; he grows


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ten years! How did we
make it this long? I don't know.
But I'm glad we did!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That was fun! :)

SW

Monday, March 1, 2010

oops i did it again

That is to say that I forgot to post! For a few weeks! (Ack! Ack!!)

Sorry about that, friends. I have no good excuse for my lack of writing - I guess I just didn't have much to say. (Shocking, I know!)

Anyhoo, now that I'm back...

-- I have no new baby news. My period was two days late, but it arrived on Friday, much as I expected it would. Not quite as disappointed this time as I have been in the past, but then again, we didn't do IUI in February due to the other crap we had going down that month, so I figured our shot at conceiving was less if for no other reason than that alone. Furthermore, we've decided to take off another month from IUI, as Super Man has a crazy CRAZY few weeks coming up at work, and we don't want to waste any of our attempts by going through them when we're really not relaxed at all.

-- This month marks four years -- FOUR YEARS, PEOPLE -- since we started trying for Super Baby #2. Do you have any idea how depressing that is? Or how many negative pregnancy tests that comes out to? We could've taken a European vacation - or two - just with the money we've spent on pregnancy tests for FORTY-EIGHT MONTHS. Sheesh.

-- Super Girl turned 14 yesterday! I can't believe that the little girl I met at two-and-a-half years old is now a 14-year-old, starting high school in the fall. There are times when I look at her and I still see that little girl, and then I'll look at a recent photo of her and be startled by the young woman I see looking back at me. Of course, even when my eyes see the little girl, I can't help but sense how much of a rush she's in to leave childhood behind and grow into an adult. Her struggle is nothing new: we've all been there. I know exactly how it feels to want to be free of your parents' rules, the drudgery of sitting captive in classrooms learning things you may or may not ever have a need to know, and not having the freedom to do whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it. On the other hand, I also know that all that impatience to grow up was time wasted -- because, soon enough, I did grow up, and becoming an adult - while exciting at first - was really nothing to write home about. In fact, it was a lot harder than it looked from the perspective of a 14-year-old, not to mention that once you ARE an adult, there's no going back. The comparatively "easy" and magical years of childhood and seemingly endless possibility are lost, and all that's left is a lifetime of adulthood, with all its responsibilities. As such, when I see how impatient Super Girl is to grow up, I find myself wanting to tell her to slow down and cherish the next few years. Sure, she still has rules and we still have expectations of her, but at least she has more freedom and privileges from this point forward than she did in the past, and the ultimate goal is to make sure she knows how to make it in the world once she actually does reach adulthood. Mostly, I hope she will avoid making the same mistakes that all of us, her parents, have made. Of course, I realize how futile that is. And, even more, I realize that a lot of what made us the people we are today is the mistakes we made along the way. "Live and learn," isn't that the saying? Anyway, I wish my stepdaughter a blessed and wonderful 14th year and I hope that she continues to grow and mature at a reasonable pace and without testing the boundaries overly much!

-- I found this fantastic blog -- http://www.999reasonstolaugh.com/ -- that I wanted to share with any of you who are also struggling with infertility, whether it's primary or secondary. I know it's not always easy, but I too have found that it helps make it hurt a little less to have a sense of humor about things. The frustration can eat you up otherwise.

-- I started working out again today. Ouch. 'Nough said.

-- I've been seeing a chiropractor for the past few weeks and I am LOV-ING it. I feel better than I have in a long time, and the best part is that I haven't had any of my killer headaches, even during my period. I can't believe I waited this long to see a chiropractor, because I've had a few people recommend it over the years, both because of my headaches and because of our fertility problems. I have no idea if it will help on the fertility end of things, but I can tell you right now that it has helped with my headaches. And I feel more energetic generally speaking having better alignment and no nagging neck, back or head pain.

Alright. That's it. That's all I've got.

Other than this: I've missed you. I will try not to stay away so long again!!

XOXO,
AESW